Even before I was pregnant – as someone who has seen her fair share of children born and raised in a myriad of different scenarios– there are things I swore I’d never do if I became a parent. Things only “bad parents” did..
Never would I give my child synthetic man-made formula instead of breast milk.
And then I became a parent.
And I had an incredibly fussy baby.
And then I had to try and work 40 hours a week from home.
And then stress made my milk all but dry up.
And then I was alone.
After struggling for 4 weeks trying to feed my never-satisfied hungry baby, spending hours coaxing her into fitful 20 minute sleeps, and having to walk around with her constantly to soothe her. If she was not eating or sleeping, she was crying. Finally I was so at a loss I took her to sleep and lactation consultants, only to find out she wasn’t getting enough to eat – which was causing her to cry.
When I realized all those late night screaming sessions were her trying to tell me, “Mom I’m hungry!!” my heart absolutely broke. Here I was failing at fulfilling her most basic need. So that was my first ideal shattered. Per the lactation consultants’ wisdom, it wasn’t about my desires anymore – my baby was hungry. Within an hour I started supplementing on ounce of formula after each feeding and never thought twice about it again.