To Feel or Not to Feel?

I cringe to admit how many years of my life Memorial Day has been a nice 3-day weekend and not much more than a nod to those who have fallen while serving our country.  But not this year.  This year I feel reverential down to my bones for Memorial Day. Several boys I’ve known since […]

A Valentine’s Day to Remember

Valentine’s Day when I was 32 was my most memorable Valentine’s Day ever. I spent it pacing halls, phenomenally uncomfortable. I did a lot of waiting. My project was going well and then lagged; I was sorely disappointed. I went about it a different way, trying to force the issue. Still no luck. I was […]

Why are you talking?

WAIT-ing helps us connect with our kids It was later than I wanted to be awake on a weeknight and yet there I was, in the kitchen arguing. Somehow I had gotten myself sucked in and was fully engaged with an unreasonable 14 year old boy. Truth be told, I probably wasn’t about to win […]

Starting with the end in mind

  I see so many good, loving parents who pour themselves into providing everything their child could need. Those same parents express frustration with their kids’ entitlement and lack of discipline. “Unappreciative” is a word that comes up often. I see parents who worry about their kids’ lack of drive and lack of resilience. Just […]

Where is my village?

When my girlfriend gave me this dishtowel, I laughed and said in tears, “Yah, the number was 303-7&5-0$21.”  That was her number when my kids were young. That was my helpline when I needed to know if I was being too hard or too soft with my boys. I called that number when I just […]

Does your child “fit” your parenting style?

Our job is not to get them to fit in. Our job is to honor the uniqueness of these dear souls. After raising six kids, I finally really get it that there is no “right” or “best” way for a kid to be. Their light shines so differently.

If you’re raising “that kid,” hang in there

This kid that made me want to pull my hair out is now the grown-up kid who makes my heart sing. Sometimes the most challenging kids to raise turn out to be incredible adults. If you’re raising “that kid,” hang in there. Don’t give up. They’re worth it.

Mom: High Achieving and the Hazards of Being One

Are you a high-achieving mom? Did you work hard and get good grades in school? Or do you go after your goals and expect to achieve them? Are you committed to being a good mom? As well as willing to work hard? I know your type. It’s a blessing and a curse at the same […]

Can you really force your child to behave?

Forcing your child to behave may seem like the best approach now, but what happens when you develop a pattern of needing your child to behave for you to be calm? You then give your child tremendous power. They now have a bit of control over your emotions.